Sunday, March 11, 2012

If I could go back in time...

I have to be held accountable even if no one reads it I have to be able to face myself and hold myself accountable. I have “fallen” off the bandwagon I have started to eat sugar, I feel terrible after I do it and yet I just cannot stop myself. What in the world is wrong with me!#*&^! I know that it is wrong but how do I stop. I feel like I have put myself in prison!!!!! There are all these things that surround me that sound so good and everything is caving in on me!!!! I have expectation of myself. Monkey had this idea that I start a stamp chart for myself every day I do not eat sugar I get a sticker if I eat sugar I lose a sticker. I think I might do this…. After thirty days I get a new outfit maybe….. in a smaller size maybe… What do you think?
I have come to realize this about myself I need to compete with me! I need to learn to support myself in my own desires. It is like I am walking towards something in my dreams and instead of reaching it I allow it to fade away and go back to being an “unattainable dream” I used to be this brat nose girl who didn’t understand what the word unattainable meant , if I wanted it I set out and did what I needed too, to achieve what I wanted. If I were able to talk to my past self I would kick my own but for letting myself get in the way. When I was younger there was no fear. I just did what I needed to do get it done. If I failed I didn’t get hurt about and distracted I tried something else.
Now I just need to follow my younger versions advice. Just get it done do not complain, and find a way. There is no longer anytime for self-pity your dream is reachable tomorrow. Stand up and be the woman you want your daughter to emulate; and do it today!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


What a crazy few weeks that is has been!!!
So it turns out that everyone that is married is going to be pregnant, I wonder if that is a good sign for the hubby and I? If anything it means that I will have a lot of things to do! My SIL is due any day now and I cannot honestly wait to meet the lil girl, I have made some lovely booties and a hat for when she comes and I am probably going to work on the mama to be’s nursing cover tonight!!! I am thinking that I will probably make some more things later this week for her as well. I am also in this mode were I am into making lil crocheted dresses, and am currently in the middle of that!
So this week I have also started thinking a lot about prayer. I listen to a talk on prayer and it talked about being specific. As I thought about that I started to think about my prayers, and what I was asking for. This is when it hit me, I am a great hint dropper but terrible at getting straight to the point and asking for what I need and or want. For example I have been asking Heavenly Father for a baby to bless and enrich my family’s life. What I wanted : To get pregnant, pretty simple. Heavenly Father  knows this but needs me to ask for this. What I got  a baby to bless and enrich my life and he is my adorable nephew. I honestly cannot help but laugh because it is exactly what I prayed for. I am so thankful for this lesson that I learned because I know my Heavenly Father loves me and wants so much for my happiness. Sometimes there is humor in the lessons we must learn and I honestly would not change a thing. I have 4 {as of yet} new babies that are going to come into my life this year and I can hardly wait!!! I am so grateful to  have these women in my life they are amazing sources of strength for me. I am grateful  for the blessing of being a member of this glorious church { The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints}  it provides so  many blessings !

I hope you have a blessed day!!!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Life is funny. {and what we make of it}

I woke up this morning thinking about this new year that I have before me. As of yet there are no bumps, we haven’t  had any troubles behind us and in front of us is a blank canvas. Today my little one returns to school. I have never been one of those moms who is excited about this type of thing. I enjoy the time I get with my daughter. I feel as though the older she gets the less time I get to spend with her. She is only six and yet when I think back six years ago she was completely dependent on me. Although I mentally know that she still needs me sometimes I forget she doesn’t always know she still needs me.
    Last nigh she was just being so cute. I gave her a bowl of homemade awesome chili that my MIL made and said “here is your chili my love” and Megs replied  “Thank You, much my love” .  How can a mothers heart not just explode with all the cuteness she has to offer?  She truly is the light of my world.
    This year I have also made the choice {to try} not to be nag. I get into this cycle of expectation. When it does not get filled I get angry. I have made the decision not expect but use my words like the big girl I am.

Diet Update:
So I am no longer eating sugar day one was hard, and day two I might have hit a road block. My SIL and BIL made these pancakes with brown sugar, cinnamon and pin nut filling. They worked really hard on it how could I say no? Good thing for me that today is a new day.
    My plan for these upcoming days is to incorporate a lot of fruit. One day one it worked great, day two it worked well {until I had the pancakes. In my defense I did say no to the doughnuts} Today I  able to have already ran out and unfortunately I will not be able to get to the store until tomorrow. I am also working on a menu plan for the upcoming month full of homemade goodies!

I hope today brings you joy and that you are blessed!