Wednesday, November 30, 2011

This is your 4am wake up call!

This is the second time this has happen to me, being awake that is before I want to be. Egh! Although I am must admit 4am is better than last nights 2 am. I think this has to do with some anxiety I am feeling, I don't know why I am feeling this way; it kinda crept up on me like a horror film. My SIL told me she was pregnant last week. How does one little sentence hold so much weight on me? I also wonder how I can feel so utterly happy for her and start to feel so bad for well me? Self pity for one! Maybe this strings from the fact I have been trying for over 5 years to have baby#2 ans she is on baby #3, or maybe it is the fact that she is the second to announce she is going to have a baby and I know it is only a matter of time before at least two others announce their baby plans. Either way I need to get out of this funk! This effect my health, my family and everything else!
I started to take Maca Root again last night, I put it in my smoothie and I think because of yogurt I used it actually tasted like an enhancement! I didn't taste it all and my smoothie was extra good! I have been also thinking about going on Soy as a natural clomid replacement. More research has to be done on my part.
On the weight issue since my last trip to the hospital with asthma I was asked not exercise in the gym until I get it under control. This is killing all the effort I made this year. I have to start working out again. Especially if I want my goal to be met. I keep telling myself only 5% weight loss will make a huge difference.
Will things to do that won't go away until I attend to them I hope all is well!

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