If I could go back in time...

I have to be held accountable even if no one reads it I have to be able to face myself and hold myself accountable. I have “fallen” off the bandwagon I have started to eat sugar, I feel terrible after I do it and yet I just cannot stop myself. What in the world is wrong with me!#*&^! I know that it is wrong but how do I stop. I feel like I have put myself in prison!!!!! There are all these things that surround me that sound so good and everything is caving in on me!!!! I have expectation of myself. Monkey had this idea that I start a stamp chart for myself every day I do not eat sugar I get a sticker if I eat sugar I lose a sticker. I think I might do this…. After thirty days I get a new outfit maybe….. in a smaller size maybe… What do you think?
I have come to realize this about myself I need to compete with me! I need to learn to support myself in my own desires. It is like I am walking towards something in my dreams and instead of reaching it I allow it to fade away and go back to being an “unattainable dream” I used to be this brat nose girl who didn’t understand what the word unattainable meant , if I wanted it I set out and did what I needed too, to achieve what I wanted. If I were able to talk to my past self I would kick my own but for letting myself get in the way. When I was younger there was no fear. I just did what I needed to do get it done. If I failed I didn’t get hurt about and distracted I tried something else.
Now I just need to follow my younger versions advice. Just get it done do not complain, and find a way. There is no longer anytime for self-pity your dream is reachable tomorrow. Stand up and be the woman you want your daughter to emulate; and do it today!

Crazy!!!

What a crazy few weeks that is has been!!!
So it turns out that everyone that is married is going to be pregnant, I wonder if that is a good sign for the hubby and I? If anything it means that I will have a lot of things to do! My SIL is due any day now and I cannot honestly wait to meet the lil girl, I have made some lovely booties and a hat for when she comes and I am probably going to work on the mama to be’s nursing cover tonight!!! I am thinking that I will probably make some more things later this week for her as well. I am also in this mode were I am into making lil crocheted dresses, and am currently in the middle of that!
So this week I have also started thinking a lot about prayer. I listen to a talk on prayer and it talked about being specific. As I thought about that I started to think about my prayers, and what I was asking for. This is when it hit me, I am a great hint dropper but terrible at getting straight to the point and asking for what I need and or want. For example I have been asking Heavenly Father for a baby to bless and enrich my family’s life. What I wanted : To get pregnant, pretty simple. Heavenly Father  knows this but needs me to ask for this. What I got  a baby to bless and enrich my life and he is my adorable nephew. I honestly cannot help but laugh because it is exactly what I prayed for. I am so thankful for this lesson that I learned because I know my Heavenly Father loves me and wants so much for my happiness. Sometimes there is humor in the lessons we must learn and I honestly would not change a thing. I have 4 {as of yet} new babies that are going to come into my life this year and I can hardly wait!!! I am so grateful to  have these women in my life they are amazing sources of strength for me. I am grateful  for the blessing of being a member of this glorious church { The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints}  it provides so  many blessings !

I hope you have a blessed day!!!!
Tiffany

Life is funny. {and what we make of it}

I woke up this morning thinking about this new year that I have before me. As of yet there are no bumps, we haven’t  had any troubles behind us and in front of us is a blank canvas. Today my little one returns to school. I have never been one of those moms who is excited about this type of thing. I enjoy the time I get with my daughter. I feel as though the older she gets the less time I get to spend with her. She is only six and yet when I think back six years ago she was completely dependent on me. Although I mentally know that she still needs me sometimes I forget she doesn’t always know she still needs me.
    Last nigh she was just being so cute. I gave her a bowl of homemade awesome chili that my MIL made and said “here is your chili my love” and Megs replied  “Thank You, much my love” .  How can a mothers heart not just explode with all the cuteness she has to offer?  She truly is the light of my world.
    This year I have also made the choice {to try} not to be nag. I get into this cycle of expectation. When it does not get filled I get angry. I have made the decision not expect but use my words like the big girl I am.

Diet Update:
So I am no longer eating sugar day one was hard, and day two I might have hit a road block. My SIL and BIL made these pancakes with brown sugar, cinnamon and pin nut filling. They worked really hard on it how could I say no? Good thing for me that today is a new day.
    My plan for these upcoming days is to incorporate a lot of fruit. One day one it worked great, day two it worked well {until I had the pancakes. In my defense I did say no to the doughnuts} Today I  able to have already ran out and unfortunately I will not be able to get to the store until tomorrow. I am also working on a menu plan for the upcoming month full of homemade goodies!

I hope today brings you joy and that you are blessed!
Tiffany

2012 Plan

PLAN
This new year I am taking a semester off of school. There are many factors in my decision but I feel that the most important one is  because I need to work on me. There are so many things that I want for myself that I have neglected due to time. So now I need to come up with a plan.
The following is a plan for 2012
A plan for 2012
Work on my spiritual side daily
{How this can be accomplished}
Read Scriptures Daily
Read a daily talk
  Pray more
Hold regular FHE

Work on my Relationship with the hubby
{How this can be accomplished}
Do something everyday for him so he knows how much I love him
Stop and think before I react
Take a more active interest in his hobbies
Forgive more fight less

Work on my Relationship with Megs
{How this can be accomplished}
Do something everyday so she knows how much I love her
Be more understanding
Do something fun with her everyday
Talk less and listen more

Work on Relationships with friends
{How this can be accomplished}
Talk less listen more
Do more for them to lighten their load
Let them know more how much I appreciate them

Work on getting healthy physically and mentally
{How this can be accomplished}
No sugar
Reduce refine carbohydrates
Do yoga daily
Work out daily
Surround myself with positive people
Do something for me everyday
Yell less
Create more

I think with these things will help me create a better life for me and my family. What are your plans for making a better life next year?

I hope your day is blessed!
Tiffany

I wish I knew who made this beautiful portrait I love the look of love and compassion in the Saviors eyes. {I found this picture via Pinterest}

I love the symbolism of Christmas. There is so much meaning and thought behind every tradition. I am if you have not guess by now a symbolism nut. I find true beauty and meaning in it. I also feel that almost every deed  and action can symbolize something more and better; not only for ourselves but for the others around us. It is like that old saying, actions speak louder than words.    
    This is the time when our actions take notice and others find meaning. I have noticed lately that no matter what I do I am being watched. Not only by the little eyes of my child, but also by the curious eyes of stranger.  Wondering how I am going to handle my situation that I am in. Sometimes they are a quiet bystander with an understanding or differential looks and  sometimes comments are made. The moments are brief.  I often wonder however what the impact is, and did I make a positive impact. Now I know that there are something I could have handle better, when I am at the end of my “parenting” rope. I also know that things are not always has they appear. I know that I am guilty of the act of looking and listening to others as well. In a way I find it comforting sometimes thinking, I am so happy I am not the only one.
    I love this idea that we are in this world together and we should make it better for others and ourselves. My prayer is that for this Christmas we remember the person who has made a great impact on the lives of all. That when we have the opportunity to make a impression on others that they see the Saviors influence on my life. I hope that when my daughter looks into the past she has an understanding  of the love the Savior has for us, and that the symbolism that we have been given is cherished for the correct reasons.

I hope your day is blessed!

Waiting to start...

How come in life something’s seem harder than others to start. Take right now for instance I really should be cleaning my house, yet here I am typing just so I can procrastinate is just for a bit longer.  I feel this is a habit that I have embraced convincing myself that I work will under pressure. When the truth of the matter is I hate to procrastinate. I hat feeling the pressure that I have to do something.  Ah well nothing can be done except for thing that I must do.
    Today however it maybe harder then ever to get things done. My little one is home sick. Although if one were to look at her you would not be able to tell that she is; because once that children’s Tylenol kicks in all bets are off that any work can get done. This is okay thought because I love spending time with her.
    Last night I gave her a special treat, it was a Ready Reader book. I can not express the amount of pride I felt as I watch her read. {I must have the smartest 6 year old alive!}  It made me think how learning to read is just like life. Sometimes it comes easy, sometimes you stumble your way  through it, sometimes you take your time, and sometimes you just don’t know. In the end however is the reward you get when you make it through with a great accomplishment.  If you think about we are all characters in our own books our action are the words that leave their trace on another’s soul. Just think you are a legend in the making good or  bad depends on your actions. Your trails add to the complexity and make it more compelling for others to  want to be a part of. {Have I ever told you I love the symbolism of life..}

    I have so much to get done today that it is crazy! I must start this adventure of my day. If hadn’t had to go to school today I would probably be ending sooner. This alas is life.
I hope your day is Blessed!

Blessing that are worth waiting for.

  

    

     Sometimes in my humble opinion life feels like a waiting game, a long line to what you are waiting for it to be. This is how my life sometimes feel. We’re waiting to finish school, we’re waiting to hear back from the dozen job interviews, we’re waiting for a child {Not  by our own choice I might add}. I have commonly called this phase in our lives that it is like living in J-ello. And we are trying to wiggle ourselves to the top just to get out!  The wiggling takes a lot of work but in the end it will all be worth it, and we can move on into our next trial.
    Trials are funny things, they can really shape a persons outlook on life. I honestly don’t know how the hubs and have done this last 3 years, without a job, and both of us in school. I will say this it has something to do with a kind and loving Heavenly Father. I am not sure how many can say this but this last 3 years of trials have brought us closer then ever before. Now don’t get me wrong there are still battles and it is not easy; but I now know that I have someone whom I love very much beside me for everything. If anything this trial of our has made us rich in comparison to when we “Had  it all “ .
    With a new year rapidly approaching I cannot help but think excitement of change is in the air and all is good within the world of our tiny home. I have a little one whom I adore and constantly keeps me on my toes, I have the support of my hubby,  and I have a circle of amazing friends whom I am so blessed to call my family, but most important I have the Gospel. I know that blessed because of this. Sometimes it is nice to look in mirror and think wow, I am truly blessed.
I hope your day is blessed!

   
Ps.    So here is a fun factoid about me I love quotes!  I really do I try to put a new one up weekly in my home. To think someone once said this group of organized words and the are still being used to uplift people today. I love it! So my new goal is to have words to live by at the end of my post we will see how long they last but I thought I would try it!